Triduum Reflection

Thirteen years ago, Holy Thursday, I stood before 60 teenagers finishing the last day of their drivers ed class..(yes, 60... I kid you not...). I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my first baby and had a doctors appointment for that afternoon, as soon as class was over. The doctors office, anxious to finish up their appointments and leave for their long holiday weekend, called me during the day to see if I could make it in any earlier. I told them that I was teaching a class but I would try to be there by 3:00.

With my 14 year old step-daughter in tow, we headed to the doctor's office, expecting nothing more that the excitement of hearing the babies heartbeat, again... However, after my arrival, and being their last patient for the day and the only one in the office, what we thought was going to be a quick check up turned out to be something quite different... The routine, preliminary tests (blood pressure and urine) turned out to show signs of pre clampsia and the not so calm Physicians Assistant (my doctor was already gone for the day...) began barking at me "not to panic!" and how did I get there, and who was driving me and then the same to my step daughter (who did not drive...) and then began telling me that I needed to get straight to the hospital, but the hospital i was registered at didn't handle high risk babies, so if something went wrong with the baby he would have to be transferred to another hospital, or I could just go to this other hospital and avoid the possibility of being separated from my new baby altogether... yeah... real calming words...

So, it didn't take me long to decide that I would just go to this other hospital, if that's what needed to be done, now the question was "how?"... Would they call me an ambulance, or could someone come get and take me?... My stepdaughter called her dad and brother, and they were down to the doctors office withing 20 minutes to take me. Once at the hospital I signed in and was put in a room with monitors and nothing to eat since lunch earlier that day. At 8pm the nurse came in to my room where my husband was sitting with me, discussing that they would induce me in the morning when she told my husband with a BIG smile "visiting hour ova..." My husband smiled back and told her "No. I'd like to stay with my wife a little while longer..." this was our first baby, and I had no prior problems with the pregnancy, so this was all still sinking in last minute. The sweet Korean nurse smiled again and shook her head, "Visiting hour ova..." My husband again explained to her that he would like to stay a little while longer... after the third time she smiled and left and we finished up our time and he hesitantly went home for the evening, assuring me that he would be back in the morning.

I slept through the night as best I could, never having been given any dinner, and not being too sure of the immediate future, and trying to contemplate being a "mom" very soon... Very early the next morning I was wheeled to another room and "induced". Because of the pre clampsia, I was not allowed to move around, but given a catheter and some pillows, getting as comfortable as i could while I waited for the labor to come... It was Good Friday...

I remember labor pains coming and going. I remember friends and family stopping in to check on me throughout the day. I remember when my water broke that evening and the nurses coming to help... again, I wasn't even allowed to get out of bed... My labor continued long in to the night, and I was given some kind of pain medicine that made me more loopy than anything. I guess it was a good day for fasting, because I never did get anything to eat, from lunch the previous day...

By midnight I was in the delivery room and anxious to push, but the nurse would keep telling me "not yet..." THAT was agony! FINALLY! the time came and I was able to push! but between the pain medicine, being exhausted and my blood pressure spiking and plummeting I was in and out of consciousness... It took some extra help from the doctor, but I was finally able to deliver a healthy, beautiful baby boy, 7 lbs. 8 oz., at 12:35am, Holy Saturday morning... God is good... It really is true that the "bad" really doesn't seem to matter, once you hold that baby in your arms... there is nothing better... My husband, mom and sister, all in the room with me, were really scared by my health and progress... I was clueless... But I was told that I came very close to dying during delivery... Now it seems like a lifetime ago, and I would do it all over again, and again... 4 more times, 4 more blessings... My oldest son was 13 last Monday...

There isn't a Holy Week that goes by since then that I don't stop and think about the one spent in the hospital 13 years ago... I was tired, sick, hungry, frustrated and at times a little lonely, and it gave me a glimpse at what Jesus and His Mother must have felt... but to hold that new life in my arms at the end of it, made all the difference. this it the time that we meditate on Jesus' suffering and death... He did that for us.. so that we may have that new life in Him... So that we may have that new life WITH Him, forever... Take time over these next few days in quiet anticipation of what is to come... With all that is going on in the world , God is still in control and we can still count on Him to help us through. Have a Blessed and Holy Triduum...