Now we had talked about having children. We had even picked
out a girls name of "Claire Elise", after St. Claire. But that was years before... My husband had two children, 13 and 14, from a previous marriage, one of which lived with us, so, I was happy to help raise them and do all the "parent" stuff that went along with that... Anyway, this particular morning that I took that home preg test and left for mass, still not computing, it was August 11, 1995. I went in and knelt down until Fr. walked in to begin and announced that it was the feast of St. Claire.... My tears flowed for the entire Mass! After Mass I went to the local drug store and bought ANOTHER test just "to make sure"... I had no idea how old the earlier test was, after all! I had to make sure!! I walked out side where my husband was reading and handed him the test stick and said, "Happy Father's Day"... I'll never forget that day... Despite the fact that even though I was SURE that I had a little "Claire" on the way, 8 months later we delivered our oldest son to the world. I was 30 years old. I still tease him from time to time that he was supposed to be a "Claire"...
Three years later, and again, without "officially trying" to get pregnant, just one day AFTER the feast of St. Claire, August 12, 1998 I had that same familiar feeling and took another home preg test to learn I was once again expecting. Perhaps THIS one would be "Claire".... Two weeks after my oldest sons 3rd birthday, my second son entered the world, fat and happy! I was 33. He was my most "Cherubic" baby weighing in at a hefty 8lbs! You wouldn't know it looking at him today, as he is quite small in size and stature. But what he lacks in size today he makes up for in heart and spirit!After a few years people were once again asking if we were going to have anymore. My 35th birthday had come and gone and I was content with our two sons. Again, we weren't really "trying". In fact, this particular place and time in our lives was not really a very happy one. My father in law was in and out of the hospital for various reasons, our business was failing and we weren't really sure WHAT we were going to do with no other job prospects at the time, and life was just generally overall stressful. After my father in law passed away in January of 2001, my husband and I were going to marriage counseling. It wasn't long before that old familiar twinge had returned... It was just before we "officially" shut down our business, as we really had no other choice... Now what? A troubled marriage, a failing business, two young and growing boys, and now a third child on the way... and, oh yeah... no jobs... I was 36...
We scraped by that year on what I was able to make substituting in the local public schools while
fighting nausea and extreme exhaustion. My husband spent the better part of that year training and testing to be a school bus driver. For whatever reason (God's, I suppose...) what should have been a three month process for him, ended up taking almost a year, due to lost paper work, etc... I was taken off of work for that last month of school for blood pressure issues and we were once again scraping by on a wing and a prayer. My husband's mother passed away that same summer... Despite the set backs of THIS trying time, God blessed us greatly with our first beautiful baby girl. Nope. She wasn't a Claire, either... We had chosen another name, but just as beautiful...So, we felt complete. We had our two beautiful boys, and now a baby girl and my husband was FINALLY working full time, again, and even though it was tight, I was able to stay home for the first time, with our children. So, that brings me back to my 40th birthday party mentioned earlier. Even though I was telling myself that we were "done" now, sub-consciously I knew to hold on to the car seat and high chair... You just never know, with God, I told myself... Wisely enough, since it was only a couple of weeks after my 40th birthday that I realized I truly was
pregnant, again. Having encountered more than one friend that had opted to get sterilized, due to having "enough" children, or deciding that they were getting too old, or the risks too high, etc... I was faced with having to put my money where my mouth was. Was I TRULY going to let God have control of my life and trust Him with it?... Did I believe and trust Him enough to know that He would bring us through this, as well?... What choice did I have?... The following September our "set" was complete. 2 boys, 2 girls... and it was apparent, that if God gave each of us "gifts", at least one of our gifts was making beautiful babies! : ) My second daughter has been such a joy to my life, as I refer to her as my "little hunk-a-pie"...Now at 42 and expecting yet another, I wonder, sometimes why God chose for us to "start" our family so "late" in life...? Perhaps my husband's older kids needed us more, before. Perhaps we just weren't ready... Only God knows His reasons... Looking back on all this I know that He has a plan and will work through all things to His greater glory... The upside is that my oldest two boys are learning to help more around the house and with the younger two and I'm actually able to catch an occassional break to myself... And despite my concerns and worries for my health, I know that God has my back, there, too... He has blessed me with a new Doctor that I prayed for, and a wonderful all in one clinic to go to for everything from labs to delivery, including an on staff high risk OB specialist that I will meet with periodically, throughout.
When I made that first appointment the nurse asked me if I had a preference in who I saw. Not knowing ANY of the doctors from Adam, I asked if they had one that specialized in "geriatric- over weight- high risk pregnancy- mothers of four"? she laughed and responded that she just so happened to have just the guy! : ) I knew she was right when I actually met with the Doctor who mentioned my specialist "request". I smiled and and as we discussed my situation I then I told him that sterilization was not an option and I use "NFP" and planned on continuing to do so after I delivered, and he responded, "No problem. We'll take good care of you..." God is good...
No comments:
Post a Comment