Thursday, February 5, 2009

I'm Really NOT an Irrational Person...


I took my nine year old son to the dentist today. I admit that it's been about 2 1/2 years since we've last gone... We had a change in insurance and I've had two babies, so I just hadn't had the chance to sit and make dentist appointments... Well, hubby has been having his teeth worked on and has had nothing but praise for his dentist and has since made appointments for myself and our oldest son. I figured the easiest way to handle this was two at a time, so after we were done, than we would work with the next two youngest... unfortunately, my younger son was having some tooth ache issues, so we ended up making an appointment for him to get in today. I got a babysitter and off we went.


Now mind you, my son is 9 and has never experienced "the shot" from the dentist before... last time he had work done, it was under the influence of the "silly juice"... and being his first visit to this doctor I wasn't sure what exactly they would do. After waiting over an hour in the office, they finally call him back for x-rays. A few minutes later the assistant comes out to tell me that they need to extract a tooth that is falling apart and that is what is causing the pain. I tell her that he has never had the shot before, but it would have to be done, so okay... "sign here" and I did and she never said another word but went back to the back again. A little bit later I hear my son crying and look down the hall only to see him come out holding the side of his face and crying. They tell me that he will have to be referred to the specialist that gives "the juice" but the insurance won't cover it because he's over 7... huh?... OR I could make another appointment to meet with their other dentist, but he only comes in on Wednesday's and he would still give the "shot" but he works more with kids... Well, Wednesday's happen to be our "nightmare" days, where we are pretty much gone from morning to night...


To say the least I was little annoyed... no explanation, other than my son wouldn't cooperate and they couldn't do it... Now, I realize that a lot of people don't "get" home school mom's. A lot may assume that because we are HOME all day, we MUST sit around eating Bonn-bons watching soap opera's and have all the time in the world to drop everything for appointments! Anyway, I told them that I would have to call back after I got home... we left, nothing accomplished, thank you very much...


So on the way home I ask my son, "What happened? What did you tell them?" Thinking he must have had some tantrum breakdown for the operation to shut down so quickly and without explanation... he said, "I told them I didn't like shots..." well, duh... I don't like shots!!


So I get home and call the dentist to see if I can find ANYTHING else out... I don't know who I spoke with... the first girl answered the phone and I tried to remain calm as I explained to her that it was frustrating for me, because I had 5 kids and don't have a babysitter at my disposal for endless appointments... I wish that someone could have explained to me what the problem was when we were still there and at least given me the chance to TALK to my son and calm him down and MAYBE we could have tried again... but no one even offered that... she said, "well, he's nine, and he's had dental work done before..."


"Yes!" I told her, "But it was a couple of years ago and he was able to take the juice! This was his first experience with the shot, and he just wasn't prepared. He understands NOW that there is not an option, but from what I understand, this doctor doesn't even want to try with him anymore and the other doctor, he couldn't see him for another 2 weeks and you're telling me that this needs to be done soon..."


"well, do you want to come back?..." Upon further inquiring, according to the assistant my son started crying and said he didn't like shots... so the doctor asked him if he wanted to leave and my son nodded, and they let him leave... I almost lost it! I said, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! He is NINE... He is in a new office, with NEW faces, a NEW experience that isn't the most pleasant, and a doctor hovering over him with a needle asking him if he wants to leave... for Pete's sake, I would want to leave!!" She laughed... I'm really not trying to be unreasonable... And I'm not the kind of mother that will baby my kids through normal "life" things, like having to go to the dentist and dealing with "shots"... his having to get the shot wasn't the problem... all kids have to go through their first, at some point... he just wasn't prepared, because I wasn't sure WHAT to prepare him for... if they had JUST given me 15 minutes to talk with him... calm him down and explain what was going to happen and why, we'd be done by now... She said "well, WE told him what was going to happen..."


"You aren't his mom... I'm sorry, but to him, you are a stranger..." After I hung up my son told me that after he said that he didn't like shots, what they told him was he needed to be good or they were going to have to tie him up... yeah... that'll calm his nerves... sheesh... I called my husband and told him that HE could call and talk with them... They were probably hoping that I would just go somewhere else...


So, Hubby called, and they said that they were just looking up his number to call him... They didn't want him mad at them... Apparently he convinced them that they should give our son another chance and he would take him back down there himself and sit with him... they never even gave me the chance... When I heard him crying and got up to look down the hall, they told me I could go back to him, but he was already on his way out, and you know the rest of the story... I'm not sure that I'm happy with the decision to go back, but I don't want my son's mouth in pain any longer... so off they went... My oldest Son and I are supposed to go in to the same office a week from Monday... should I keep that appointment?...Perhaps they're hoping I won't...

4 comments:

Tammy said...

Oh my goodness Emily! I can't believe they would tell him that. That's an awful thing to say, to anyone, of any age!! I don't know that I would go for your appt. They already think something of you, and to have them work on your mouth, might not be a good thing. Plus, their chairside manner isn't so great. I hope all is well now.

Lee said...

yeah, well, they went, and he came back happy as a clam. He said he didn't feel anything and dad was there the WHOLE time! : ) I'm still miffed that they never even asked me to TRY and talk to him or go back there to be with him... They ASSUMED because he was 9 and had had dental work before... I had TOLD them that he had never had a shot in his mouth before... We could have avoided a LOT of drama... and not wasted EVERYBODY's time...

WICatholic said...

I'd go,and let THEM feel uncomfortable as you evaluate his chairside manner for yourself. Then, if it is questionable, you will know.

As far as not realizing that dentists talk this way... some really do. I have seen/heard it. It is partly why I quit going to Peds dentists where parents are not welcome back in the operatory with the child.

I had NO idea that they had 'bundled' my kids til we quit going to him.

(That's what they called it). I also was never told.

Lee said...

My husbnad has had NOTHING BUT PRAISE for this dentist... and after he took my son BACK that same day, the dentist was AMAZED at how cooperative, though a little scared, still, that he was... he told him, "Well, N, we could have avoided a lot of trouble if you had cooperated this morning!" sheesh... they could have avoided it if they had just asked me to talk with him and try to calm him down!! THAT's what really aggravated me... By the time they offered for me to go back, they were already sending him out... N's not an idiot... just a kid that get's scared sometimes... imagine that...

: )