Ultra Sound, take 3...

Well, I finally was able to have the awaited second ultra sound yesterday. It was a long morning of waiting, between the meeting with the genetic counselor (9:40am) and actually having the ultra sound (almost 12:30). I was a little nervous about the meeting with the genetic counselor, because I didn't want to hear words like "options" and "terminate" that seem to roll off of some people's tongues so easily... But that actually went more smoothly than I had anticipated, thank you, Jesus... She explained to me that in the first trimester u/s that they basically take the results of the u/s, my blood/hormone counts and my AGE to calculate a number. THAT number is what gave me a "positive" result for Downs. The counselor and the Dr./Specialist, both commented that it was probably my age that was tipping the scales for a positive result. My husband and I both come from big healthy families with no history of problems. I then had to "officially" sign a waver to decline an amnio...


When we finally got in for the actual ultra sound the tech was able to make some measurements of the baby's head, leg and arm bones and abdomen. She also told us the gender and said that everything looked as though it was within "normal range". When the doctor/specialist came in, the baby decided to turn his back to the camera and not cooperate... lol... no different than my other 4... He WAS able to get a look at the heart, that he framed up and clicked a button, and this red and blue appeared on the screen. It was the actual blood flow to and from the heart! THAT was really cool! But with the baby having his back to us, The doc really wasn't able to see the arms, legs, face and heart as well as he would have liked to. So, guess what?... I get to go back in three weeks to do it again!


So, while I didn't get the "fairly certain" from the doctor that I would have liked, I heard and saw enough to set my heart and mind at ease... I really think that it is just God's way of telling me to "let go and let God" I really need to just TRUST in Him and His plan... The ultra sound that I will have again in a few weeks will just be "gravy"... : )


I know that it can be easy to try and reassure someone in my situation to "be at peace" and "not to worry. Everything will be fine..." and I really appreciate the support and good intentions. I've done it myself for others... but now, having been through this myself it just shows me that "too much information" can be harmful, especially to the mind... This has been such an emotional roller coaster to me... I knew before I was pregnant that there was a risk of Downs or any other number of problems. But having a test come back "positive" really can have a toll... It's why I have declined the AFP screening for my last 3 pregnancies... I really did not realize when my doctor asked me to have the "First trimester u/s-screening" that it would involve all this, or I most probably would have declined it, as well, just to save myself the grief and worry... I know that they (medical science) do it all in the name of 'health' and 'staying informed', but today's society in general is just too programmed to "disposable life" and wanting to know everything so as to determine which life is viable and which is not... and being the pro-life person that I am, it's a really an ugly place to be immersed...


One of the papers that I had to sign yesterday was one asking if I was interested in having the AFP screening or the testing for Cystic Fibrosis... I wanted to write in BIG BOLD letters across the paper, "NO MORE TESTING!! Thank you!!" but, instead i just marked "declined" and signed my name... Thank you, to everyone that has prayed and offered words of wisdom and support. They really do mean the world to me and help immensely. God is good...


Now, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to Samuel Elijah...